We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
