This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
