do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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