matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
