my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
