Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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