Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
