I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My breasts were aching with rage.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
