i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
