Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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