He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
