I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
