Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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