can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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