My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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