You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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