he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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