Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
