...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
