At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
