i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
