i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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