I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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