Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
