it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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