He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It was confusing and full of hummus
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
