As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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