What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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