walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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