hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
