Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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