I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize