I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
