super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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