Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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