so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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