Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
