i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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