Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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