Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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