And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
