If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Can I color on your dick again?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
