I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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