I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
