Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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