He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
