He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
