I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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