Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
