you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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