ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
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Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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