dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize