Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry lmfao5264 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

Fav 13 2663 1060
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.

Fav 23 1258 9125
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(802): View more from Vermont

his penis is PERFECT

(802): View more from Vermont

I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

(802): View more from Vermont

or knit it little hat

Fav 37 10363 1807
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.

Fav 89 1807 10582
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(304): View more from West Virginia

If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason

Fav 10 1355 4505
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(206): View more from Washington

My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

Fav 13 6586 1142
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(518): View more from New York

it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.

Fav 1 985 2012
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(901): View more from Tennessee

A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

Fav 10 1586 736
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.

Fav 0 39 2
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