I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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