It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
