i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize