Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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