Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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